The good news this week is that I am working on the soap General Hospital again, and gearing up to film "The Nurses Ball"! If you are a GH fan you know that it has been ten years since they filmed the nurses ball. I have been in rehearsals all this week for it, and there are some great surprises to come on the show! Can't wait until you guys get to tune in, and see all the fun we are having over in soap opera land.
The interesting thing about today is (As I try to stay honest with my feelings) is that I feel this pressure, anxiety, and sadness. It glommed over me all this morning. Why do I feel this way, when I am working, doing what I love and making money? Why do I have anxiety about life? I try to read books on how to live in the moment. I even attempt to block the future out of my head all together.... Am I afraid that I won't work again? Am I scared that when the fun ends, that I will back to struggling artist? Do I get sick of NOT of having a steady gig? Do I know what is promised tomorrow? This life of an actor, the ups and downs can stress a brotha out in a major way. It goes to show you that the confidence that you have read in other blog posts can come and go so fast. I am a human, and I am not who everyone thinks I am. In the midst of all this goodness, I still feel sadness. Today is just one of those days where my emotions are heightened. Tomorrow I start Deepak Chopra and Oprahs 21 days of meditation. I think this couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I think I need it now, and I am excited to explore this fairly new territory for me. The beautiful thing is that I know this feeling is about to change, as it is Sunday. I am about to go to church, praise GOD, and get some junk out of my soul, that is weighing down my spirit. The bible says "GOD has not giving us a spirit of fear, he is giving unto us a spirit of power, a spirit of peace and a sound mind"! I will take this with me as I go through my day today. All is good-- my tax return came in--I am working on a soap (YAY) making a nice coin for the week! However, I wanted to post my true feelings, as I know this all stems from my enemy FEAR himself.
