My Resurrection!

This is very interesting post, as I am about to get even more honest about who I am...  As I had an unusual fear throughout my life, and a fear that has held me back.  In this post I dug deep and searched for the truth, my desire to reveal my true self in the year 2013 has come to pass in full effect.  I feel that me being honest is why people have loved reading my blog.  The truth is; sometimes I am scared to post my religious beliefs on my page.  Sometimes I get scared that people will think I am some crazy person, who is speaking mumbo jumbo GOD stuff all the time....  Sometimes I fear that people will think that I am trying to put my beliefs upon them.  However, this is not the case, and I love people that have different belief system then my own.  I declare today Sunday March 31, that  I will no longer fear this.... As in many of my post I always talk about my faith in GOD.  However, in true J.R. Whittington style, I am going to put away all fears.  I will declare the good GOD has done for me.  I will not stop talking about his grace, his mercy, and his devotion to me (and to all).  I guess if you don't like this fact, you don't have to read my blog.  I am a Christian, and this is who I am... Without GOD I know I wouldn't be where I am today.  Without my faith, I would be in a ditch somewhere, due to panic attacks and a serious mental disorder.  I know that GOD has saved my life, and as I go on my walk in this life, even while reaching for my dreams.  I need to walk with GOD first, because honestly when I started doing this my life has changed.  When I started to walk with GOD, my career grew stronger, and when my faith got stronger, my anxiety, and depression weaken.  This acting business is tough, and to do what I am doing and thousand of other fellow actors are doing, takes a tremendous amount of courage, and faith.  I know what my love for acting is, but I also know what my love for GOD is... From this day forth GOD will always come first, whether people want to hear or not.  Thank you GOD for sending your son Jesus who died on the cross for my sins.  Happy Resurrection Sunday Friends!!!

The Nurses Ball 2013

As many of you all know and if you follow my blog, you know I have been working on General Hospital.  This year they have reinstated the nurses ball, as it is GH's 50th Anniversary.  When I tell you to be careful what you pray for--and get specific with prayers-- cause they will come to light!  I am strong believer in GOD and prayers.  Well, I have been praying, and I prayed to GOD, being as direct as possible to get a principal contract on a soap opera.  As I was sick of doing under 5s, (under 5, when you only say under 5 lines smallest role you can get) and I really feel this genre suits me, as a transition to t.v./film coming from my theater background. GOD gave me what I wanted.... YAY!  He gave me a principal contract for two weeks on a soap.  (Here is the catch) This principal contract was me singing and dancing. Whomp Whomp! I asked and I received, even though it didn't come in the package I wanted.... As I attempt to get away from singing and dancing, so I can be taking seriously as an actor, look where I end up...   On television but back on the stage sort of... I am so grateful for the opportunity, and the fact that things are moving so fast for me here in LA, is a blessing...

With all of that said, my General Hospital experience was amazing.  Going to work, being creative, being on set everyday, was a taste of a lifestyle that I want for my life.  It was a big dream come true for me.  Please watch the Nurses Ball the first week in April, and watch me and the soap stars perform!  This years ball has so many fun surprises, and you guys are going to love it.  It spans from three nights in April, but I am not sure of the dates.  And two of the nights you will see my big high yellow face and dimples looking at you through your TV screen.  It is some really good stuff, and I can't wait for the world to see it.

The cast of General Hospital was so welcoming and our director Larry was just spectacular to us.  Everyone on set including the crew, and Emmy Winning executive producer Frank Valentini was on it... Frank is a strong presences as a producer, but he knows what he is doing.  He is all about the work, but one of the sweetest people in the world.  He and his team has put together something I think would be remembered forever, in General Hospital history.   I have never worked with better people in my life.  I have made so many new friends on that set, and it was a privilege and a blessing to be apart of General Hospital!  Actors gave me there phone numbers, email address, it was like a family, they all wanted to keep in touch.  That cast over there at the GH is something very special, and I thought people should know that....  I give thanks to casting director Gwen Hiller for always thinking of me, and keeping me employed in Los Angeles.  I also a big shout out to Rick Pessagno the choreographer without him none of this would be possible.

When it all ended, of course my cry baby butt, teared up.  This time I know why I cried....  I cried because this section of a dream came true abruptly has ended.  I didn't want the magic and the feeling to ever end.  I can't describe to you anymore how bad I want this thing... If passion can grow; mine has grown bigger and greater then ever expected. New prayer:  GOD please give me a contract role for 4 years are more, as a speaking actor, as a principal, on a HIT T.V. Show.  LOL is that specific enough!!!!  At the end of the day, I am blessed and so very happy...

FEAR

The good news this week is that I am working on the soap General Hospital again, and gearing up to film "The Nurses Ball"! If you are a GH fan you know that it has been ten years since they filmed the nurses ball.  I have been in rehearsals all this week for it, and there are some great surprises to come on the show!  Can't wait until you guys get to tune in, and see all the fun we are having over in soap opera land.

The interesting thing about today is (As I try to stay honest with my feelings) is that I feel this pressure, anxiety, and sadness.  It glommed over me all this morning.  Why do I feel this way, when I am working, doing what I love and making money?  Why do I have anxiety about life?  I try to read books on how to live in the moment.  I even attempt to block the future out of my head all together....  Am I afraid that I won't work again?  Am I scared that when the fun ends, that I will back to struggling artist?  Do I get sick of NOT of having a steady gig?  Do I know what is promised tomorrow?  This life of an actor, the ups and downs can stress a brotha out in a major way.  It goes to show you that the confidence that you have read in other blog posts can come and go so fast.  I am a human, and I am not who everyone thinks I am.  In the midst of all this goodness, I still feel sadness. Today is just one of those days where my emotions are heightened.  Tomorrow I start Deepak Chopra and Oprahs 21 days of meditation.  I think this couldn't have come at a better time in my life.  I think I need it now, and I am excited to explore this fairly new territory for me.  The beautiful thing is that I know this feeling is about to change, as it is Sunday.  I am about to go to church, praise GOD, and get some junk out of my soul, that is weighing down my spirit.  The bible says "GOD has not giving us a spirit of fear, he is giving unto us a spirit of power, a spirit of peace and a sound mind"!  I will take this with me as I go through my day today.  All is good-- my tax return came in--I am working on a soap (YAY) making a nice coin for the week!  However, I wanted to post my true feelings, as I know this all stems from my enemy FEAR himself.

I'm Just A Broadway Baby!

All through high school and college I was obsessed with musical theater.  I listened to every single musical there was out there.  I imitated voices on cast recordings, I took dance lesson, voice lessons, diction lessons, acting lessons, and studied my little tooshie off!  I was--well--I am what you call a theater geek.  I still love and live for the theater.  I can't live without it actually, whether, I am in a production, listening to my theater mix on my iPad, or at the theater being entertained, I crave it.  I always need to be close to it's touch.  My dream was to do a national tour and broadway shows.  I reached those dreams, and have had quite a career in the theater.  The  burning question is "Are you done with theater, now that you are focused on a t.v. and film career"?  Even my agent wrote me saying "I would love to see you on Broadway again".  The honest answer to this question is I would love to see me on Broadway again too.  Broadway is my first love, and I will never let it go.  However, there are some major rules to me and my love affair with the theater.  I can't be in the chorus anymore, those chorus boy days are over.  I also don't want to be a professional understudy, just like my resume makes me out to be.  I will go home to Broadway if there is a role, a featured role, the lead calling my name.  Until then, I am not interested.  I would rather spend my time here in Los Angeles, being a starving artist, and going after my TV/Film dreams, then be in the background singing and dancing.  I don't knock chorus members, it is a great job, and when I was there I loved it.  No show is complete without a good chorus. I am just in a different place in my life. This might sound cocky to some, and it feels a little arrogant coming out of my mouth.  Who am I to not want a job that people would die for?  I ask myself that all the time.  Honestly, it is the truth!!!!  This blog is a space where I can tell the truth... right?.  I believe if I am worthy enough to understudy people on broadway and save the show, as I have done many of times.  I am worthy to play the role, and get out of my understudy trap.  That is where I am in my career.  Random Aside: I would love to do a non-musical play that is a dream that I have burning deep in my heart.  Just throwing that into the universe, so GOD can hear!   Deep down I am a broadway baby, who is in LA trying to make more dreams come true.  As an actor, whether it's film, Television or Theater I simply love my profession.  I am a person who is not chasing fame.  I DON'T DO WHAT I DO FOR FAME AND FORTUNE!  At the end of the day, I do it for love.