I have some really dark days, and some times I start to think I am too old. Questioned what am I doing wrong? Why can't I break down these doors? Why can't I be more black? Why can't I be more white? If I was just cuter? If I wouldn't eat all that junk food, and just got back in shape? If I could act better? If I was just a little taller? If I could walk backwards, do flips, swim, stand on my head, belch on cue, cry on cue, be in New York and LA at the same time? IF? IF? IF? Didn't I move to LA for "NO" should of--Could Of--Would OF? All the questions that many actors have... You loose your confidence at times.
On the other hand I have days where I am overly confident, when my faith is stronger then others, when I say to myself nothing can stop me. I just wanted to point out to my fellow bloggers that I am human. The dream can be tough, the dream can be daunting, but the dream can also be so rewarding. Loving what I do is my light at the end of the tunnel, passion, love, and walking with GOD, listening to the universe. All these things keep me steady, and keep me holding on to my dream. As said before statistic state that as an African American, Gay, 37 year old, man just moving to Los Angeles. I am not supposed to succeed. You know what I say? Kiss My Black Booty....
ENVY; The Tony Nominations came out and I had a ton of friends nominated for best actor, and best musical. I moved to Los Angeles to concentrate on film and T.V. I will be honest-- I admit my ego gets crushed when dreams of mine, happen to others. I LOVE my friends, and I am so excited for them, but I want it too.. All in GODS timing but I am writing this not for a pity party. I don't need to hear "your turn will come" or anything like that. I am just writing to get my feelings out and be honest in every moment. I want a TONY nomination, and the truth is.... I am no where close to one. That is just the bottom line...
Behind The Scenes; As I taught my dance class, and choreographed my first musical for the kids at the It Factor Theater. A new passion has rose up inside of me. I love to teach and to choreograph. I never saw this coming, it came out of left field. Then low and behold, right after my gig at the It Factor Theater, I choreographed a Bollywood esque number for a short film. I went into this project kicking and screaming. I had a ball working with those talented actors. The shoot went great and I can not wait to see the final product. New love sneaking up behind me, and patting me on the butt, and nudging me to follow it.
AUDITIONS; OK, either I need to work harder or something needs to happen. My audition season is slipping away, and I know the industry is slow until after the summer. However, I haven't had a TV/Film audition in forever. Praying on this situation, and I don't know what else to do, but attempt to be patient. Do I have the right agent? Do I have to switch up again? How do I know what to do? I will continue to walk with GOD, and ask him the tough questions. I have so many questions myself, and maybe I am just inpatient. Pray for me bloggers on this one.. I don't want to do anything drastic just yet...
IMDB gets on my nerves, I have been trying to post credits up on that site, and having no luck. :-( They need a knew system in getting your stuff up on that site. I have people that are extras with stuff on there, and I actually did principal contracts and can't get it up! UGH!
LOVE/Normal Job/Normal Life: This part of my life is in complete tact. I am happy in my romantic relationship, and very happy in my jobs. TVI has been great and I love mentoring my fellow actors. Don't Tell Mama Los Angeles is amazing. They have been promoting me like crazy i.e. radio show, facebook, twitter, website. Free promotion works for me, and I love getting to sing every night. The down fall is the hours, but it is still an awesome job! Happiness... I also am on tract financially although I do have some debt to pay off. Nevertheless, I am doing just swimmingly. BREWSTER-- My Dog and Baby is amazeballs as well... :-)
SURPRISE: I do have a surprise but I will not post about it yet. The gig is official and I am very excited about it. This job will be different for me, but an amazing opportunity at this point in my career. Stayed tuned blog world for this announcement, as I will announce it on my fan facebook page first.. Then wait a week and write about it on here. To follow me on Facebook here is the link; www.facebook.com/whittingtonjr
GOD IS GOOD AND ALWAYS ON TIME, EVERY TIME I GET DISCOURAGED, OR SOMETHING DOESN'T GO RIGHT... HE IS ALWAYS THERE WITH AN EXPLANATION. IT MIGHT BE ON HIS TIME, BUT HE ALWAYS SHOWS UP. I AM BLESSED WITH HIS GRACE, AND MERCY. SENDING HIS SON TO DIE FOR MY SINS, SO THAT I CAN LIVE THE BLESSED LIFE I HAVE NOW. I CAN'T PUT INTO WORDS HOW HAPPY I AM TO HAVE A FATHER TO ALWAYS TURN TO.... HE LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY. PRAISES TO GOD!
