Reinventing My Soul To Find My Purpose

Today I wake up a 40 year old man that has been down an extraordinary path, tunnels, twists, turns, and all to find my purpose.  As I reflect on the 40 years of my life, the accomplishments, the dreams, the failures, the mistakes, and the heart ache.  I will take time to start a fresh!  I have a chance to take the rest of my life in my hands, and grab it.  As you get older people think that this is it, but I believe I have new chapter.  More to say to the world through my art and mentoring.  I know what makes me happy and I can't give up! I will listen to my heart more, walk with GOD and continue to follow my dreams.  Los Angeles has been a time of growth and understanding of who I truly am.  I am an artist, and I will continue to create art wherever I can.  I must admit, there are many times that I wanted to quit, to give up, to leave it, and just find a white picket fence and big house to hide behind.  I don't know where I will end up?  I do know,  I will open myself up to more, and listen to the depths of my soul.  We will see where the next 40 years take me, but I do know I am open to receiving all the possibilities that life has to offer.

Break Time

I am taking a break from the business, as I can't afford to do workshops right now.  My pocket books are screaming at me, and daddy needs to eat.  Before you know it will be the holidays and no work anyway...  This is hard for me to do, but ever since I called a short time out, I feel my soul lift.  The pressures of the business can give me anxiety that sometimes my soul needs a boost.  I am putting all my focus on teaching, giving back and inspiring my class.  I love teaching so much, but it does not fulfill me like being an artist on stage or screen.  I totally am letting GOD take the wheel, and I feel some big changes coming soon.  I am currently, working on yet another secret project, and I am praying that this works out.  I think this is the path I am supposed to go on, I hear GOD loudly on this one.  As I pray I am trying to do better at listening. I will be back pounding the pavement in the new year, energized and ready to hit it hard.  I am taking the time to reflect and find out where I am supposed to turn.  For the first time I let show business beat me down, but I will not give up without a fight.  I am not finished with you!!!!!  Love to all, please continue to lift me up in prayer.

Please Turn The Light On!

Blogger friends if you ever heard the term "the struggle is real", then you completely understand my life!  I have been dealing with the word "no" for about three months now, in this crazy industry that we call acting...  More then usually for me, and I have fallen into a world of darkness.  Insecurities, set in, and the word I hate "FEAR" wails up into my soul and belly.  This business is hard, and getting people to believe in what you trained all your life for can be daunting at times.  I have casting directors telling me (In Los Angeles Style) how amazing I am, but not casting me in a single thing.  It gets hard to trust your work and trust yourself.  Sometimes I want to quit,  and give up.  The problem is there is nothing else I would rather do, nothing else that makes me whole, nothing else that feels right, nothing else that exudes my body with love like acting.  I can't quit, and now I will just pray that my breakthrough is around the corner.  Continue to keep working on my craft, and come out into the light.  I am broken, but at the point of saying, "Jesus take the wheel".  I will walk with GOD and let him lead my path as I can't do this alone.  Thanks for your continued prayers blogger family.  I hope the next time I write it will be with better feelings toward my art and craft.  LOVE TO ALL!

I'm Black... I Mean I'm Back! :-)

There is so much to catch you up on my blogger friends, as I set out and journey through life.  As I get older my priorities have shifted and I learn everyday the importance of friends, family, and giving back to the world.  I am still in Los Angeles pounding away at a career that is almost non existent.  A dream that sometimes makes me feel defeated.  A place that makes me whole and happy seems like a far achievement.  I have come close to some things in Los Angeles.  Close to booking major commercials, major roles on film or TV, and yet I stand here empty handed.  I also have been blessed to work on some soaps, and low budget films (I do not disregard those achievements).  This blog entry is not to discourage, or make you feel sorry for me.  Trust me it is exactly the opposite.  While, living this artist life, I learned that I am good teacher, and how rewarding this is for me.  I currently teach theater /acting/scene study at two studios in Los Angeles.  I love it so much, and the success of my students is so rewarding.  I also feel closer to GOD as I struggle through this movement of being an artist.  My soul is rewarded when I teach, and I know that once I get my break I will be even more rewarded.  Guess what bloggers?  I have NOT given up on my talents--nor my career.  I am still standing here fighting, auditioning, networking, and believing in my dream.  GOD has not given me all these gifts to act and perform for me not to use them.  I know there is a purpose and a story I have to tell to the world through my art.... This war is not over, and I decided to blog to let you know that I am back and take no prisoners.  I will continue to give back as much as possible to the youth, but I will also continue to fight and believe in my dreams!  Love to you all for your continuous support.  More blogs to come....   I'm Back Boos.....

The Check In

It has been awhile since I blogged.... I needed a break as my life was getting crazy!  Trying to figure out how to conquer Los Angeles and just live... Living can be tough when you have no money.  This transition has been so tough for me.  I am used to always having a ton of money from working on Broadway for many years.  However, it is not about money, it is about going after your dreams.  Doing what you love and fighting for it!

I am still here in Los Angeles, and I am very happy.  I am making it work, and trying to hustle to get closer to my dreams.  I am allowing myself to audition for musicals again.  I yearn for the stage, I  have been away from it too long.  It was a great break I must admit, as I needed it to fall back in love with singing and the life of musical theater.  I didn't respect musical theater anymore, and was starting to never want to perform again.  This break has silenced who I really truly am.  It took this break to find my first passion again, and realize I don't have to give it up, to follow my TV Dreams.  J.R. you can do it all... :-) This was my "Alchemist" moment, where I traveled a full circle to end up right where I started..  HOME! :-)

Cruel Joke Tomorrow I have an audition for a Chef with a french accent.  Just like the audition I had a year ago when I chickened out of going to because of fear of making a fool of myself.  Now after being here so long, the same character came up for me.. HEY, do I look French?  HELL NO!  Why do they keep calling me in for this guy? And a chef at that.  HAHA!  LOL The difference is I embrace this challenge, and am excited to go and show them what I got!  Wish me luck friends.

I miss you my blogger followers, and though I don't blog as much.  You will continue to hear from me from time to time.  :-)   THIS BLOG WILL NOT END! HAHA!  I am liar!  LOL!

LOVE AND LIGHT TO YOU ALL!

The End

I have been in Los Angeles for  a year, and as much as I enjoy blogging…  It is time for this blog to come to an end!  I am now too busy, and so much going on that blogging has become a chore.  This under taking was easier when I didn't have a life.  LOL! I have to stay focused, and do what I came here to do.  To find out more about me and what I am doing below are the many ways.  Will my dreams come true?  What will happen to J.R.?  Thanks for your constant love and support!

FIND OUT FOLLOW ANY THESE LINKS BELOW:


https://twitter.com/JR_Whittington


https://www.facebook.com/WhittingtonJR





MUCH LOVE


ME

I Am Funny Dammit!

I moved to Los Angeles dreaming of being on Scandal, Grey's Anatomy, The Soap Operas, CSI, and all of  those dramatic shows.  My acting reel says that I am a dramatic actor, and all my life I have loved and connected to anything that is drama... I get off on releasing inner demons that are  trapped in my soul.  I love the art of being crazy, wounded, hurt, scarred, serious, serious serious....

My friend Tiffany Cooper-Allen once said to me I see you in a comedy.  I laughed at her very loudly, and the laugh was so loud it was like a scream.  The subtext was "No boo, No I am not funny"..  Then my roommate, Dezera Page said I see you on the big band theory, or as the straight man in some comedy... I laughed yet again very loudly.  My first manager said "you should do comedy"... I thought to myself, what is this stupid theme?  I am a dramatic actor!  I just met with this new management firm, that wouldn't even see me unless I did comedy.  They said that is who I am, before even talking to me.  WHAT???    I can cry at the drop of hat, and I love releasing my life experiences out onto the drama of some crazy character.  When I read a dramatic script, my heart beats faster, my blood boils, and I get excited to dissect this person.  Maybe being a dramatic actor all these years has been free therapy.  Did you know that 80% of the work for someone my type is in comedy?  I had no idea that I was more marketable as a comedic actor.  I decided to dive into it, with my head first.  What?? People are laughing at me?  What my timing is good?  HUH?  I am not even trying, I am just living moment to moment.  Why am I so funny?  What is this thing that is happening?  Why am I so scared of this genre?  Now I embrace it, and I am loving it!  BRING ON THE COMEDY!  So many friends will say I told you so.... LOL But I will never leave the drama behind.  I do my best when the work is honest, and when I tell the truth, comedic or dramatic, if you find truth, the work will always be good....

All Over The Place Blog Entry #2

The Tony Awards

I was pleased with every bit of the Tony Awards, and it was a beautiful experience.  Neil Patrick Harris was amazing as a host, and I loved every moment, beat, and nuance.  He is so gifted, talented, and just a great personality.  Really a well, put together show....  That opening number was so freaking Amazeballs!!!  It was the best opening number on any award show that I have seen in my lifetime.  Really a brilliant evening, and--yes--I put my ego aside and enjoyed watching all my friends perform on the telecast.  The highlights of the Tony Awards for me was "Pippin" I am dying to see it! Those kids dancing hard/performing there heart out, in the musical "Matilda" WOW!  Watching a friend, who went to my high school, grew up in my hometown, and whom I had the pleasure of gracing the stage with... Mr. Billy Porter winning his tony award for best actor, he did my hometown proud, and I am proud to say I know and love him!  Lastly the legend Cicely Tyson finally winning her a tony award! YES!           Inspired

General Hospital

I have been lucky to form a relationship with casting at "General Hospital", and I have been appearing on the show a ton.  However, I truly think I screwed myself, with being new to town, and being desperate to be on t.v. (and making a coin)  I feel my chances to actually be considered for a contract role are down the toilet.  I keep appearing as a nurse in the hospital, sometimes featured, sometimes more then featured- two weeks as a principal- sometimes just walking back and forth.  This blessing is my own curse, but I have to move forward.  There are other soaps in LA to try and tackle.  The experience there on G.H. is making me even more ready.  I am clear to myself that I can handle a contract role, and know that I would be a great asset to a soap now.  Now lets break down some doors!  HUSTLE! Praise GOD for the opportunity and the learning experience...       Coming To Terms

Networking

L.A. has taught me so much about networking, and I am actually building a pretty powerful and great Rolodex.  I am learning the art of networking, and working so hard to meet as many people as possible.  Passing out business cards, and trying my darndest to get noticed in this town.  This part of L.A. is going well, and I have some great leads.....  When asking a friend for help recently, I was nervous, but he said it best at the end of his email back to me.  "A Closed Mouth Never Gets Fed"!  I will take that with me, and thank you my dear friend, you know who you are, for helping a brotha out.  Hopefully this contact will lead to something big, but I appreciate him putting in a word on my behalf! This touched my heart, and I am learning that it never hurts to ask....             Learning and Growing

Representation

I know so many people will judge me on this one, but I left my agency yet again in Los Angeles.  I am sorry but I don't think my agent had enough to get me in the door.  I am hustling my butt off, and everything I got was through my work effort.  I also just didn't have a good feeling after awhile about my agency.  I just moved to Los Angeles, and I already have went through two representations. Usually I would never leave anyone unless I had someone else.  BUT I AM ALRIGHT WITH BEING ALONE FOR RIGHT NOW,  OK-- HONESTLY I AM NOT, THAT IS WHY I AM TYPING THIS--BUT I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF THAT!  I am stepping out on faith, and praying to GOD for the right fit.  It is so "hard out here for a pimp"-LOL- an Agency is like being in a relationship.  TRUST, GIVE, TAKE, UPS, DOWNS, ETC.  I need to feel like we are on the same page, and honestly I wasn't with both my representation. If you believe in prayer, please pray for me.  Pray that I find someone that loves what I do, and supports me.  Pray that I find representation that can move me forward in the right direction. The search is back on blog world, PRAYERS PLEASE!!!!!!!
          Trusting In God

My Big Surprise

I am yet again venturing behind the scenes on a project, and I think I am ready to announce it!  I am so excited about this project, and I can't wait to start auditions at the end of July.  This will be something new for me, but L.A. has been leading me more and more behind the scenes theatrical.  I am listening to the universe, as the wind blows me in this direction.  Oh you wanna know what the project is huh?
Well.....   I will be the Assistant Director and Assistant Choreographer on "Smokey Joe's Cafe" at the prestigious Pasadena Playhouse!  WOW!  I said it out loud.  This is a blessing and wouldn't be possible, but by the grace of GOD.  I will be assisting the multi-talented director, singer, dancer, actor Jeffrey Polk.  He is angel from the heavens who has been a great support  to me and my move to Los Angeles.  Jeffrey and I are going to put up a great show, I believe, and I think the work will be honest and powerful.  If you are in LA you have to come check out the show!!  If you are one of my talented friends in Los Angeles, I better see you at the auditions at the end of July.  I am geeked for this project to start, and I can't believe that I got this gig, and my first time as a A.D. is at such a big, amazing, theater.  HOLLA!  LOL  GOD IS GOOD....                             Excitement and Change Is Good
                                             

All Over The Place Blog Entry

I have some really dark days, and some times I start to think I am too old.  Questioned what am I doing wrong?  Why can't I break down these doors?  Why can't I be more black? Why can't I be more white?  If I was just cuter?  If I wouldn't eat all that junk food, and just got back in shape?  If I could act better?  If I was just a little taller?  If I could walk backwards,  do flips, swim, stand on my head, belch on cue, cry on cue,  be in New York and LA at the same time?  IF? IF? IF?  Didn't I move to LA for "NO" should of--Could Of--Would OF? All the questions that many actors have... You loose your confidence at times.

On the other hand I have days where I am overly confident, when my faith is stronger then others, when I say to myself nothing can stop me.  I just wanted to point out to my fellow bloggers that I am human.  The dream can be tough, the dream can be daunting, but the dream can also be so rewarding. Loving what I do is my light at the end of the tunnel, passion, love, and walking with GOD, listening to the universe.  All these things keep me steady, and keep me holding on to my dream.  As said before statistic state that as an African American, Gay, 37 year old,  man just moving to Los Angeles. I am not supposed to succeed.  You know what I say?  Kiss My Black Booty....

ENVY; The Tony Nominations came out and I had a ton of friends nominated for best actor, and best musical.  I moved to Los Angeles to concentrate on film and T.V.  I will be honest-- I admit my ego gets crushed when dreams of mine, happen to others.  I LOVE my friends, and I am so excited for them, but I want it too..  All in GODS timing but I am writing this not for a pity party.  I don't need to hear "your turn will come" or anything like that.  I am just writing to get my feelings out and be honest in every moment.  I want a TONY nomination, and the truth is.... I am no where close to one.  That is just the bottom line...

Behind The Scenes;  As I taught my dance class, and choreographed my first musical for the kids at the It Factor Theater. A new passion has rose up inside of me.  I love to teach and to choreograph.  I never saw this coming, it came out of left field. Then low and behold, right after my gig at the It Factor Theater,  I choreographed a Bollywood esque number for a short film.  I went into this project kicking and screaming.  I had a ball working with those talented actors.  The shoot went great and I can not wait to see the final product.  New love sneaking up behind me, and patting me on the butt, and nudging me to follow it.

AUDITIONS; OK, either I need to work harder or something needs to happen.  My audition season is slipping away, and I know the industry is slow until after the summer.  However, I haven't had a TV/Film audition in forever.  Praying on this situation, and I don't know what else to do, but attempt to be patient.  Do I have the right agent?  Do I have to switch up again?  How do I know what to do?  I will continue to walk with GOD, and ask him the tough questions.  I have so many questions myself, and maybe I am just inpatient.  Pray for me bloggers on this one.. I don't want to do anything drastic just yet...

IMDB gets on my nerves, I have been trying to post credits up on that site, and having no luck. :-( They need a knew system in getting your stuff up on that site.  I have people that are extras with stuff on there, and I actually did principal contracts and can't get it up!  UGH!

LOVE/Normal Job/Normal Life:  This part of my life is in complete tact.  I am happy in my romantic relationship, and very happy in my jobs.  TVI has been great and I love mentoring  my fellow actors.  Don't Tell Mama Los Angeles is amazing.  They have been promoting me like crazy i.e. radio show, facebook, twitter, website.  Free promotion works for me, and I love getting to sing every night.  The down fall is the hours, but it is still an awesome job!  Happiness...  I also am on tract financially although I do have some debt to pay off. Nevertheless, I am doing just swimmingly. BREWSTER-- My Dog and Baby is amazeballs as well... :-)

SURPRISE: I do have a surprise but I will not post about it yet.  The gig is official and I am very excited about it.  This job will be different for me, but an amazing opportunity at this point in my career.   Stayed tuned blog world for this announcement, as I will announce it on my fan facebook page first.. Then wait a week and write about it on here.  To follow me on Facebook here is the link;  www.facebook.com/whittingtonjr

GOD IS GOOD AND ALWAYS ON TIME, EVERY TIME I GET DISCOURAGED, OR SOMETHING DOESN'T GO RIGHT... HE IS ALWAYS THERE WITH AN EXPLANATION.  IT MIGHT BE ON HIS TIME, BUT HE ALWAYS SHOWS UP.  I AM BLESSED WITH HIS GRACE, AND MERCY.  SENDING HIS SON TO DIE FOR MY SINS, SO THAT I CAN LIVE THE BLESSED LIFE I HAVE NOW.  I CAN'T PUT INTO WORDS HOW HAPPY I AM TO HAVE A FATHER TO ALWAYS TURN TO....  HE LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY.  PRAISES TO GOD!

I Work Hard For The Money!!!!

My time in LA has so many ups and downs, but I am still enjoying my time here.  I do love the life style more then I do New York City.  However, I am finally missing New York at times.  It took awhile for me to miss the big bad apple, but the time has come.  Can you believe I have been in LA for 7 months?  Where does the time go????

My career is so so slow right now.  I haven't been on a audition in a minute.  Hence, the common theme in my last two blog post.  Sorry... But it is good to vent to you guys...  I started here so strong, and now in this time things have taken a halt, and my ego isn't ready for a halt.  I am finding that LA is going to be a tougher nut to crack, then ever expected.  However, in this time, like I said before I am trying to create and perfect my craft.  I truly love what I do, (I sound like a broken record) and as I wait for GOD's timing, and for the casting world to even know I exist.  Sometimes it is painful, it is hard, it can be daunting to stay positive, and even more hard to not want to give up.  My emotions peak through my soul like a roller-coaster that has lost control and is racing all over the tracks.  Continue to keep me in your prayers as I attempt to fight for what I love.  Honestly the support I get from my readers keeps me moving, and I am not just saying this just to say it, I truly mean it from my heart.  I THANK YOU.....

Many people have been wondering how I make money in the mean time... Trust I am working hard for the money, as I have three jobs.  YES three jobs!!!!  It is insane, but to support my lifestyle I have to have three jobs.  This coming from a guy who has never had to work a "normal job" a day in his life.  Cause I have been a working stage actor for years.  Well, first and foremost, I teach a musical theater dance class in Burbank California to kids 8-15.  This job touches my heart so much, as I love giving back, and watching my kids grow in the arts.  I must admit I am a sensitive teacher, as I give my heart and soul to my students.  And when they disrespect me, I get my feelings hurt.  But I try to remember what it was like when I was kid, and a teen...  Then I brush that feeling right off my shoulder. I truly love this job.   Job number 2; I am a bartender and a singer at "Don't Tell Mama" Los Angeles.  This piano bar is a fun night, and I enjoy this job too.  Cause I get to sing, and use my vocal chops, so they don't get rusty in L.A. If you are ever here in LA, like my fan page; www.facebook.com/whittingtonjr to find out when I am at "Don't Tell Mama", and come in and visit me.  I make great drinks, and I will serenade you...  :-)  Lastly, I work at T.V.I. acting studio as an acting consultant, and this job is not so shabby either, as I mentor students who become members of the studio.  I also consult with them on what classes to take, and how to help them find an agent in this crazy business.  It is ironic that I do this for people, as I am still trying to make it myself.  However, it is great for me,  because I love to help others on there journey in the arts.  Hint/Plug... If you need to take casting director workshops, or some good acting classes hit me up... I AM the hook up!! :-) I do all this to survive, and on top of it, I try and live my own dreams.  It can be hard not to forgot why I came here....  As I try to survive and make money.  I am lucky though cause all three of my jobs are arts related.  I AM BLESSED....

I have auditioned for some theater gigs, that I really want, and I will keep you posted if I book.  I will also keep you posted when I don't book.  Theater is my first love, and I crave to get back up on the stage at times.  Keep me in your prayers friends, as I need them on this crazy journey.